In Memory – For My Dad ……

 

You will always be there,
Just as you were;
Standing strongly
Laughing at something I said,
Which pleased me.
And you’ll be there when
The tide rushes in and
Pulls at my feet in the sand.
And when I hear
The sound of the brass band
Playing the tunes that made
Your lip quiver
I will remember your loving heart.
You’ll be there when I serve
The Sunday roast
With all the essential trimmings,
And when the grandchildren
Skip around the kitchen
In the way that made you smile.
You’ll be beside me when I
Drive around those country lanes
In a way that made you suck in your breath
As your hand reached for the door handle.
Most of all, you’ll be forever behind me
Seriously watching over me,
Urging caution but bolstering me
With the humour that was
Always just below the surface
Even when the day
Drew to a close.

(C) Lyn Halvorsen 4E7C6338-8402-44E5-9A1E-BAF3982E6F4F

Why Do We Keep Up Appearances? Be Yourself and Feel Better…

Do you ever feel a bit like Eeyore?

Do you ever feel as though you are the only one in your circle or tribe that has dark times? Times when you struggle to put one foot in front of the other; you feel bad and you don’t even know why sometimes, or you are feeling low and worries and anxious feelings creep in? These are often the times when you look around you and see everyone’s else supposedly getting on with life – skipping around looking like they don’t have a care in the world. You may look upon them with feelings tinged with envy because they appear to have everything sorted out. But do they really?

During my counselling years, one of the most striking features about some clients I worked with was how terrifically well they appeared to be coping. Smart appearance; good fitness regime; holding down a career and running a home: it could have been easy to imagine such people didn’t have a care in the world. And maybe that’s what their family and friends thought too. And yet when the person began to open up during their sessions I would often find that behind the smart facade was someone suffering deeply, and feeling alone in their distress. Often, they were the sort of people who didn’t want to burden their families  – maybe other issues were going on which they didn’t want to add to, or maybe they just didn’t want to appear vulnerable. The trouble with keeping up appearances though, is that stress can gradually build over time and feelings of isolation can keep growing.

One of my mantras in life is ‘never assume anything’, and this actually stands me in good stead in many ways. I’ve learned over the years that virtually everyone we meet in life has had moments when they feel like escaping from the world; getting under the duvet for twenty four hours or setting off down the road like Dick Whittington, carrying nothing more than a few belongings tied in knotted handkerchief on the end of a stick and with just a faithful cat for company.

Most of us are lucky to have good friends and yet how many times do we really open up and tell them how we really feel. If you are like me, the normal stock reply you give to most questions about how you are doing is ‘I’m good thanks’. None of us want to be a burden with our woes and none of us want to appear negative or grumpy. And of course, being positive and upbeat is a really good way to be and plays a part in lifting our spirits and can help change our outlook. But there are times when we can really benefit from being honest and getting something out in the open; and we can also find that we gain much more insight into another person’s feelings and behaviour. To show a friend or loved one that we trust them with our feelings is showing them how much we value them too. We don’t want to be glad to hear other people have been through bad times but it does help us when we hear someone’s personal story – to hear how they overcame their fears or adversity and found light at the end of the tunnel – and even transformation – for what can be more encouraging than that? And if we recount our worries and someone says “ It’s okay, I’ve been there – here’s my thoughts which might help” – it can feel literally like a trouble shared is a trouble halved as the saying goes.

This ‘opening up’ to people takes time. I find it much easier to give than to receive in all areas of my life. I love sharing gifts and know too, the importance of giving out kindness and being generous in all ways, not just financially. Sometimes, even when we seek help professionally (which I would advise if you really can’t seem to cope) and we are paying for counselling services – we may still struggle to look right and still try and maintain a good front because it is so ingrained in us to do so. Why is it hard to ask for kindness, advice or attention? We need to remember that there are good and loving people out there who would love to help given the chance.

Another point to remember is this: you may feel totally fed up with your story; your particular angst and worry. You may think no one will be interested in hearing it, or you may fear they will think you are daft. If you have been overtly anxious you will be tired –  (trust me, anxiety is the most tiring emotion in the world), but to the person you talk to, this is a new story; one to be viewed with fresh eyes, from a new angle and a new perspective. I doub’t very much if there is a person who wouldn’t want to reach out to you and be kind, to take on the privilege of helping you feel better. And if you do come across someone who isn’t on your wave length, don’t take it personally. They may be suffering too and not in the right place to help. For now, they are not ‘your’ person but I promise you, your person is out there.

Think about Eeyore. He was grumpy and he was miserable but his friends knew he had a good and loving heart.

    ‘One awesome thing about Eeyore is that even though he is clinically depressed, he still gets invited to participate in adventures and shenanigans with all of his friends. What is amazing is that they never expect him to pretend to feel happy, they never leave him behind or ask him to change, THEY JUST SHOW HIM LOVE.’

I hope you are in a good place, but if you are not, reach out to someone today, even in a small way. Open your heart a little. Let in a little beam of light as you lift the corner of the duvet. And remember –  Dick Whittington may have been in dire straights when he walked off into the distance but he eventually found good fortune and became the Mayor of London! You may not wish to be Mayor (or you may but that’s another story!) but you CAN change things.

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Bluebells and Turtle Doves….

Spring is at its prime and the hedgerows and the fields are at their most vibrant. The blackbirds are busily feeding their chicks and nature seems at its most active. After a long, cold winter how could one not be inspired? Suddenly the world around us is coming to life and as I drove around the country lanes today I was tempted to stop to look at the bluebells carpeting the woodlands. Sometimes, at times like these I am prompted by the lines of a favourite song or the words from a favourite guru. There is so much to be grateful for and so many heartfelt words that make my own heart sing. So today, I’d like to share with you some of my own words; some are taken from the inspiration of others, so maybe they are not totally mine, and yet, they are. All things come from little threads we pick up and blend into our own tapestry of life.

The bluebells made such a pool that the earth had become like water, and all the trees and bushes seemed to have grown out of the water.’

Do you sometimes make up your mind how things are going to go, worry about reactions of others or how they are going to respond to you?

Some days surprise you; people surprise you: sometimes in ways that you hadn’t expected and in ways that can spur you on. Remind yourself never to assume anything. All is well.’

Do you spend too much time worrying? Cast your cares aside, even if just for a moment. Start again tomorrow.

Put your thoughts to sleep; let them not cast a shadow over the moon. Drown them in a sea of love.’

Do you sometimes feel confused and wonder what life is all about for a moment, and then you catch the notes of a familiar well loved song playing on the radio or read some old notes you wrote long ago and all of a sudden, things fall into place again? You remember what is important to you. You feel like things are okay.

Look for signs from the Universe; open a favourite book at a random page and see what’s written there. Look out for your friendly robin; pick up a stray coin. Look at the abundance all around you.’

Make it your mission to spread love and kindness.

Reach out and say hello; reassure one another when times are fraught; be kind. Look for sunbeams shining through the clouds.’

It is easy to forget to look around when we are busy. But remember to stop and look at the small things. Really in life, it is the small things that are important.

Remember too, when you are out and about – look up! It surprising what you miss when you focus on the ground – look at the pretty windows, the unusual architecture, the doves perched on their window ledges. See the sunlight filter through the tall trees in the morning and the stars twinkling in the inky blue sky at night.’

Walk in the sunshine. And if it rains tomorrow the fragrant flowers at your feet will be ever more beautiful.

Bluebells

Your Tomorrow Starts Today – Winspiration Day is Nearly Here….

Just imagine the power for good we can create when we all work together…

This week I want to tell you about a very special day which is coming your way!

Winspiration Day

Winspiration Day Was founded by Wolfgang Sonnenburg in 2003 and since then has been celebrated every year on May 7th. It is a day for all of us – every single one of us. A day when people from all corners of the Earth can unite joyfully in contemplation and can be of one accord.  This year, Winspiration Day events are being held in many parts of the world but you can take part wherever you are.

Have you ever wished you could make the world a better place? You are not alone. So many people wish for a better future where opportunity and vision combine with positive belief and action, to strengthen both their own lives, and the lives of others. Winspiration Day gives us the chance to do just that.

Between us all we have the enormous potential to bring about change, both in business, in our own lives and all over the world!

Winspiration is unique, but it is a little like Valentine’s Day or Christmas; it brings about a feeling of ‘togetherness’ and optimism, and unites family and friends, and even businesses. It is a day where creativity and imagination is shared and therefore inspires us and stays with us for the whole year ahead.

Winspiration Day is everywhere and can be celebrated wherever you are and wherever you live!

This year Winspiration is bringing you an incredible 36 hour free life-stream event with over 90 coaches, teachers, actors and more, sharing their wisdom and powerful teachings from all across the globe! This will include insightful and powerful content that will create abundant thinking and unity, and stories from those who dared to dream and took a leap of faith. There will be testimonials from people who have come back from lives of chaos or adversity and now live their lives with deep appreciation, and there will be creative talents who sing, act and dance with the marvellous energy of the Universe.

You Are welcome to join! Whether you join for 36 minutes or for the whole 36 hours, you will be enriched by the wisdom and love of the unique souls who will sharing their life-changing stories with you.

You can join us and join up for the amazing 36 hour live stream at:

http://www.winspirationday.org

I am very proud to be part of the UK Winspiration Day Ambassadors team and as I have been listening to the videos that have come to us I have been incredibly moved and this is what I wrote a few days ago….

‘ I like to think I have a reasonable take on life; do my best, ‘live, laugh, love’ as the saying goes. But being part of Winspiration has taken me to a whole new level. As I have listened to the videos from our amazing and incredible speakers I have been astounded by the outpouring of wisdom, honesty, love and care that each and every one of them has so freely shared with us: freely given to me and to YOU. Time and again I have heard their words and they have just taken my breath away; words that both pinpoint the obvious when I hear them yet show me a new way of thinking. Most of us have ‘feel good’ moments now and again –those moments when something in our soul is briefly stirred and we are overcome with the feeling that all is right in our world. That is the feeling that Winspiration Day will evoke in us all, but this time, we can hold on to these feelings for they will be here to stay.’

Winspiration Day has changed my life and it can change yours. I urge you to take a look at the Winspiration Website to learn more. You will be glad you did.

Just imagine the power for good we can create when we all join together; when we reach out with love in our hearts and minds and embrace new thoughts and ideas!

Being Part of Winspiration can make a difference. Between us, we have the power to change the world!

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Best Foot Forward – Moving on From Anxiety…

Best Foot Forward – Moving on From Anxiety is a handbook written with warmth, compassion and humour for anyone suffering with anxiety and the stresses of everyday life.

Today I would like to tell you a little about my new handbook ‘Best Foot Forward’ which is now available on Amazon and from my website http://www.lynhalvorsen.com

Before I do that I would like to ask for your help! If you like my blogs/books/writing would you take the time to vote for me at the well being/spirituality author category of the  Janey Loves 2018 Platinum Awards? You can follow the link on the home page. I was interviewed by Janey Lee Grace today about my book and will be able to post more about that soon! I was rather star struck as I have listened to Janey regularly on the Steve Wright radio 2 show and was happy to talk to her in person!

1444CBB5-C692-48FB-94C6-D2CFE589FAFDWhen I started writing regularly about anxiety and how it affects so many of us, I soon began to realise that we all need a bit of help and support from time to time. I started to put my previous articles together and added new bits of information and advice that I thought might help people get through the darker days and my book started to take shape. I have tried to cover all the topics which affect us – from the causes of anxiety, the common triggers, the effects anxiety has on us and the ways we can work on things to help us feel better.

I like to think of the book as something you can dip in and out of when you need to and that I am there as a friend. It is easy to think you are on your own when you suffer from anxiety and stress, but believe me, help is at hand.

I don’t profess to be an expert in anything but life; I have drawn a little from my experiences as a nurse, counsellor, wife, mother and grandmother. We are all different and unique and look for ways to cope in this crazy life. I hope you will read a copy of my book and find some words that help you take a happy and contented path.

      ‘And the night shall be filled with music, And the cares that infest the day, Shall fold  their tents like the Arabs, And as silently slip away.’  

From ‘The Day Is Done’  

                                                                Henry Wandsworth Longfellow    

I would love to hear your comments about my recent blogs and the first two people to comment will receive a free copy of my book. A vote would be great too!

Blessings to you,

Lyn

 

Ways of Coping with Stress.

We have to remind ourselves that we need to keep a positive self-image….

Do you have days when worries creep up on you and you just can’t shake them off? Yesterday was okay, you had a good day and felt content and optimistic but today you woke up knowing the old ‘worry monster was lurking in the shadowy corner of the bedroom?

Perhaps the cause of the worry monster’s reappearance should be addressed which isn’t that easy I know. Sometimes, you’d rather get up and try and get on with the day even though you know it won’t be perfect. But perhaps the cause of what’s worrying you should be identified and scrutinised; sometimes a change in attitudes could resolve the problem. Adapting to stress can bring about changes which are often all to the good. Other stresses, particularly those that aren’t of our making, could be eased by taking definite steps such as changing jobs or moving house.

Sometimes, there is only one solution and that is to come to terms with unpleasant realities that may be there to stay for whatever reason. Occasionally there are things we just cannot change. Accepting that once and for all can actually take the pressure off and lessen the impact.

We have to remind ourselves at times that we need to keep a positive self-image.  We can train ourselves not to indulge in self-fulfilling negative prophecies with a bit of practise, and not indulge the worry monster. When you attempt a new way of coping with stress and whether you succeed or not, do a kind of de-briefing afterwards. Ask yourself what went well and maybe what went wrong; how you could have done things differently; think about it and tell yourself all the positive and useful aspects of what you did. Don’t forget, you can learn from anything – good or bad.

It is important but often difficult to pinpoint the relevant triggers of stress – sometimes we spend too much time trying to work on one thing when really we need to turn the spotlight elsewhere. It’s good but sometimes painful to be really honest with yourself. That is why the wretched worry monster reappears with monotonous regularity if you are not careful to really look at what is bothering you.

Stress in one circumstance may spill over and influence another situation. For example, if you are feeling stressed about your work you may get irritable about other things that really aren’t the main problem. Factors can interact and stress builds up in all areas, so it helps if you can really identify the main problem so that you can tackle it.

As far as stress is concerned, how we see ourselves is often more important than the reality of our situation and can be the main factor as to whether we can cope or not. Isn’t that an interesting point? How important is image to us and why do we worry about how we appear to other people? If we can find a way to accept ourselves as we are we are on the way to becoming more self assured and comfortable with ourselves. Stress responses are largely determined by, for instance, the perceived threat to emotional security or to self-esteem. Changing the perception of the stress – how one views it and views oneself  – can mitigate the effect of anxiety and sometimes neutralise it more or less completely.

So this week, if the worry monster lurks nearby maybe you could just turn your back on him and go about your business. He has a big ego so just watch him shrink when you don’t look his way!

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How DoYou Define Love?

This week I said goodbye…..

A short blog today….

This week I said goodbye to my beloved father.  I loved him dearly and miss him very much.

I have been lucky to have been embraced by my wonderful family and friends and the love between us all has been incredible.

 We try and cope with life’s sadnesses as best we can, and when times are really bleak we can be truly touched by acts of kindness from ordinary, yet extraordinary people.

From the young guy in the coffee shop who, on learning of my trouble, rushed over with a piece of cake and a kind word and told me to call in anytime I felt like I needed a chat, to the elderly and infirm neighbours of my dad’s who struggled out to pay their respects; to the guys next door who I have only just got to know and who embraced me with a loving hug when I was standing in the road in tears; and to the countless people on the end of the phone lines who didn’t know me, but did their best when I was trying to sort out paperwork, and to the lady who served my dad at the post office counter every week and who referred to him as a perfect and kindly gentleman, my spirits have been truly lifted.

For anyone else going through a bereavement, my thoughts are with you.

A very good friend sent me this message:

Maybe we feel we lose, but this is only in our perception. Nothing gets lost, it just changes form. I am with you’.

 

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As the sun goes down in one part of the world, it rises in another.