Sometimes we yearn for small comforts…….I’ve slightly run out of steam due to various challenges today, but I have scribbled down these words. As my dad said – ‘onwards.’
For various reasons I have not been here recently. Life throws up storms from time to time as we all know. Sometimes it is hard to cope and we wonder why things happen as they do. But I have learned that showing up and putting one foot in front of the other helps, as does the kindness of friends.
Where would I be without my writing? I’m not sure, as writing helps me focus on the light. My writing, both in written stories and poetry is simple, but carries a message from my heart to yours. It’s a rocky ride, this world, but writing with hope helps keep my world, and hopefully yours, on its axis.
I read two things today which resonated with me, so I would like to mention them here. One of my favourite authors is Marian Keyes and I read an email from her this morning. She talked about how the world can be a scary place and how we can feel fearful (I’m paraphrasing), and struggle, but (and this is the bit I like): ‘You can’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.’ We all want to save the world but we have to care for ourselves as well, before we can help others.
That leads me to the next thing that caught my eye somewhere. Words about a butterfly. ‘A butterfly won’t fly when it rains because the raindrops damage their wings. They rest and wait it out, it’s self preservation. It’s okay to rest during the storms in your life. Take all the time you need and you will fly again once the storm passes.’
We can fly We can grow, We can listen to What we think we need to know. We can dress To impress We can follow a plan, As we carry our life In the palm of our hand. But remember, all the dreams we wrote Lie tucked in the pocket Of our old overcoat.
Love sends good vibrations across the fields, the miles, the skies, and the oceans. Love has no borders. It never leaves us. It sits in our memories and stirs us when we need it. It appears in our dreams and runs through our veins. It made us. Like Christmas, love is never cancelled! Step outside when everything gets a bit much, take a breath and watch the blackbird. He knows how to love and he is getting ready for spring without sweating the small stuff!
Be grateful for our world.
Most of us notice the sadness around us and hold space for all that is broken, and in the quiet corners of our minds, we may tremble at the thoughts of an unknown future, but let us picture a time where all the four corners of our precious world have been swept clean and we rejoice in new beginnings.
Have faith.
I like to believe there is a power that is bigger than us, that is all-encompassing and loving, and I find that even though I have doubts, faith is what gets me through. Faith in a world that is inherently good and a life force that cannot always be explained and is beyond understanding. What compels eels to cross the Atlantic from the Saragossa Sea to spawn in the Irish rivers of their origin, or birds to cross whole continents, following a favoured route that no one could explain, to land atop the same trees every year? In the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives, we may overlook the miracles that occur and the awesome occurrences happening in nature on a daily basis.
The small things are the big things.
Kind smiles and softly spoken words can help when the world wears a muddled face. Small acts of consideration are like gifts that fill life’s empty spaces. A patch of blue sky after the rain, a cup of coffee shared with a friend. Someone telling you things will be okay, that they have your back. These are the things that matter. Oh! And when I sit at my desk, writing comes much easier to me when I play my personal Spotify list, full of peaceful music.
Be aware but be happy.
I think of my late dad who often came out with some classic observations. One day we were out on one of our little jaunts, perhaps off to the garden centre, and he sat as usual with one hand clutching his seatbelt and sucking in his breath …(I don’t think I am a particularly reckless driver, but still…) ‘You wouldn’t want to venture out on a journey these days without wing mirrors’ he said profoundly. I chuckled inwardly but I still hear those words and I love the hidden wisdom – keep an eye on your surroundings whilst progressing.
Dust yourself off
For those times you feel things went wrong or life went a bit pear-shaped. Keep going. This time of year, we may feel we have over-indulged too, but we can always start again with the diet/yoga class/calming winter walks. There are no rules!
Daily choices are better than grandiose resolutions
I don’t feel New Year’s resolutions work. Not for me anyway. I gave up making them long ago. I take it a day at a time and try my best to make good choices with whatever life presents to me daily. And if I have faltered, any day I choose to start again is fine.
Shine a light.
I never like taking the Christmas decorations down! I love the twinkling lights on the tree and the familiar and well-loved pieces that come out every year. The Christmas season comes to a close too soon, and soon all the angels, fairies, elves and stars go back into their box for another year, poor things. I’ve learnt to cope with post-Christmas blues over the years by placing a new lamp in the window – a sort of compensatory light to keep the spirits up. It gives me a new routine to embrace and lights the still-dark winter evenings.
So, there is my short and eclectic mix of thoughts as we move forward towards 2024. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I wish you the best year possible. If you are facing tough times I hope you find comfort, peace and healing.
And here’s a quote for those days when everything does go a bit pear shaped…..
Instruments of peace : Speaking kindly and forgiving others.
I’ve been trying to read about finding peace in today’s world. Whilst there are many articles and blogs about finding peace for one’s self and for one’s own situation, it is more difficult to read anything devoted to world peace. A wiser person than me would be able to explain all the factors involved in the current situations going on in the world, but even then, this does not give a solution. We see and listen to leaders and politicians, we watch reports on our screens of terrible things happening to innocent people before our very eyes. We watch, and yes, we are heartbroken, and deep down, we are worried for our own futures too, and especially those of our children.
This is an ‘if only’ time. If only those in power would look at the world differently. Imagine if there were no barriers, no separations, and if people lived side by side whatever their race or religion. If you viewed our world from afar, I think it would look magnificent. I don’t think one would see any walls or separations; astronauts report overwhelming emotion and feelings of identification with humankind and the planet as a whole when seeing the world from space. Step away and there is a bigger picture.
If only we could start to imagine a world without war. We tend to think of all the individual wars going on as separate entities, but that isn’t the way for our 21st century. What about war itself versus our survival? Perhaps our biggest task now is to learn to stand for peace.
We cope and carry on with our everyday lives, of course, we have to, but I wonder how parents cope in war-torn lands when all they long for, is for their children to have a normal life; to be able to go out and play without fear. Do the politicians think about them? When wars rage over so many unsolved conflicts, will the powers that be think of all the innocent children who aren’t going to be sleeping safely in their beds tonight? If only.
If you ask most ordinary people what they would like to achieve in life, the most common answer is to love and be loved, to be understood, and to have freedom. If only.
On our televisions, we have seen the anguish of people searching through the rubble for their loved ones and sorrow etched on people’s faces. We have seen mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers doubled up in pain and heartbreak. We have seen the unimaginable happen. And over here, we have had endless rain. The sky cries.
Do you have days when you feel the need to search for beauty? Perhaps you keep peering into the mirror every time you pass, searching for a compliment, acting a bit like Snow White’s stepmother although not quite as wicked! Or maybe you spend an hour or two searching online to find ways to improve your appearance or update your rather tired wardrobe. But then sense kicks in and you realise that beauty is around us in other ways.
When we are out and about we can stumble upon something that takes our breath away – a flower blooming through a crack in a pavement, a stunning natural vista or a kind act from a stranger. Those are the moments that shake us awake.
‘Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson
So how do we find what is beautiful in life? I think it lies in perspective. To remember that what you are looking for is looking for you. To find beauty we have to be looking for it everywhere. It is easy to notice what is wrong, instead of what is right; what is ugly instead of what is beautiful. Beauty shows up in the most unexpected places – the relationships we have with others and the connection we feel with living things.
Beauty lies in the way you fill your days. The way you care for others and the times you showed up when you didn’t really feel like it but were so glad that you did.
When you find beauty, treasure it. Don’t let it slip away. Hold tight to the precious memories, the moments that make life worth living.
Often it’s the things you do when no-one is looking that hold the most beauty – the invisible net of love and laughter you have cast along your way, without praise or applause.
Go forth and find your little slice of beauty!
Be in the moment
It says on the tin,
But keep hold of your memories
And lock them within.
Lmh
I’ve been thinking about how we cope when all around us is in a condition of disarray. In the UK with the political situation nothing short of farcical, we could be forgiven for thinking that a decent solution to the current problems and deliberations will never be found. Choice for us is limited, in that no optimistic policies seem to be on offer for everyday citizens. People are struggling to keep their heads above water.
Perhaps it is time to close our ears to illogical political theories and time to sift through the rules foisted on us that are the results of sometimes selfish and manipulative governing. At least if we (peaceably) throw some light on things we disagree with or feel upset about we can highlight our concerns.
The world around us is suffering. This is nothing new – since time began there have always been monumental global challenges and there always will be. To list all the recent and ongoing global wars and tragedies would take us a long, long time, and finding a way forward seems impossible at times. We are heartbroken when we see innocent families fleeing their homes or living in hostile conditions. We despair when we hear of countries in turmoil. We are disturbed by examples of greed and question some social policies. We see the divide between rich and poor become ever greater. In Europe a lot of us were exasperated by Brexit. Perhaps we cling to on to the fragile bonds of national identity, but how do we find what connects us universally?
What do we do to keep sane in this insane world?
I think the key is to maintain our relationship with reality. And that is much harder than we think. I’m not talking about the diversionary reality of Reality TV or social media here but the real reality that connects everyone with everything. As humans, we are not all-powerful but we are all powerful. We need to remember that there is both huge advantage AND limitation with power. When we understand that, we are able to maintain our sanity and manifest a saner world. WE have the power to choose new responses and keep our own lifestyles healthy. We may not be able to control our politicians and the way they use their power, but we can at least keep ourselves real.
None of us are completely rational at times. We can be afraid of everything that could go wrong or we can accept reality and make the best of it. Reasoning is good but sometimes raw emotions are good too.. Showing you are upset about something you feel to be unfair can get results. Empathy is good. Getting depressed or angry about reality will not help us change things however. If we use our own inner power to our advantage we can become optimistic and have confidence to adapt to challenges and look for solutions.
Most of us look up to someone in this world whom we admire. Often the people we admire the most are the gentle and peaceful ones, the ones who have no agenda, and no great personal ambitions. And yet they make their mark. Coherent and compassionate people have no need to dominate others, instead they seek to help rather than be in competition with others. Compassion freely shown reverberates around us like ripples in a pond.
Many times, bad things are predicted by those who think they are ‘in the know’. We are warned that all sorts of ills may befall us or the country if we don’t adhere to various policies. But when I think back to last months news it is mainly not relevant today as there have since been new twists or turns. There are now new predictions! And this is true of so many predictions we are either faced with, or make ourselves. Often what concerned us yesterday is filed away and replaced by new concerns which in turn are replaced.
No one can deny that troubles occur, both in our immediate circles and in the outside world; often in life there is much to deal with. Interestingly, when we are focused on healing something in our own life, the outside world tends to carry on regardless and this should tell us something. We can just BE without being disconnected.
We are born with an inherent understanding of the world. It is a strange miracle that deep in our psyche we know things. When our minds are uncluttered we look benignly at the world and we are spiritually healthy. We are whole human beings and we have our own essence. Sometimes it is good to remind ourselves of that.
Don’t break your own spirit. Your sanity depends on seeing the world as a good place, having faith in one another and believing in human dignity – not just in our own small corner of the planet but all around the world. It is not what people have become in this world that makes them special necessarily- it is what they are inside and how they behave when no one is looking.
Everyone, even your greatest role models have had to cope with uncertainty at one time or another. Recognise you are part of a tribe of people who have amazing survival instincts. Out of the thousands of experiences we have in life, people doing wrong by us is not common. Most people are inherently good and we are biologically wired to love one another and to unite during bad times, and when we believe people are inherently good, this will determine how life treats us.
We can set an example. We can be the change.
Imagine the tapestry of love
Endless, yet light
Woven with gold
Shimmering bright
A blanket of kindness
For all it embraces
Reaching broken hearts
In the darkest places -
Oh! wear it please
It's one size fits all
It will wrap you in comfort
If darkness should fall -
It's a gift for you
And kindness will be everywhere
For others will be wearing it too.
The world seems to be a wobbly stack of blocks right now. So much is brought to our attention that we need to sift through, form an opinion on, debate and digest. It’s easy to feel we must dash out and straighten up our blocks, bolster up everything we can, and protect our own personal fortresses. But life is always unpredictable and no matter how we try, we cannot always protect everything or everyone we know and love. The only constant in life is that change happens. That is the paradox. Of course, some change is all to the good, but there is unrest in so many parts of the world, and a changing world brings fear and feelings of helplessness. We are bystanders to what’s happening in the world yet our minds are actively learning and absorbing. We are trying to form new ways of dealing with events as a result. There is a lot of unplanned and unexpected change going on in our minds. Some things are out of our control which adds to the worry for the future.
Look backwards to move forward
The mind can play mischievous tricks, especially during dark times. It can pluck manipulated news headlines from a dislocated source and wave them in front of our vulnerable eyes. It can lead us to believe everything we hear, because it is coming from somewhere we think we can trust. It can allow fears to escalate. It can make us sad. It can also take us to a place where we question everything we have come to believe in. It can make us forget that the world is a beautiful place and will keep on turning if we look after it.
How do we move forward? How do we calm the mischievous mind?Perhaps we have to look backwards first. See what went before and how we came to be here. Because we have all come from a place of love and a place of complete simplicity. When we were born we didn’t question why we were here. We were just here. We still are ‘just here’ -yes, we grew up and found our feet, and our place in the world, but if we can stay in the place of simplicity, we can stay grounded during turbulent times.
Major to minor
How do we stay in that good and simple place when we fear the changing world? What about those times when the storm seems to be raging and out of control? How do we reduce the major fears so that we CAN stay grounded? Think of changing from major to minor. Think of concentrating on what is right in front of you – the present. The present is all we really have and we need to look after it, be part of it and keep it simple when we can. Ego and striving can be parked.
We can cultivate compassion in a time when it is easy to feel anger about world events. Paying attention to kindness around us helps limit our judgements and helps us appreciate other perspectives.
It is interesting to look at musical key changes – to get from a major chord to its relative minor, you move down a whole and half step and yet you can keep the same melody. Perhaps we can say the same about what is going on around us. We can step down a bit, but keep our song going. Also, relative key changes can make music more interesting! This may sound trite but it’s not meant to. Life is serious for us all but we need to keep the music going.
'Be in the moment'
It says on the tin,
But keep hold of your memories
And lock them within.
As we wound our way around the village and walked towards the woods near Dove Lane, the path beneath our feet sparkled in the sun. Looking more closely, I could see there were hundreds of glass chips embedded in the tarmac. I had never noticed this before; maybe it was the direction of the sun or the time of day, but the effect was magical. The path glittered like something out of a fairy tale and I almost expected to see the King appear! I thought about the beauty that surrounds us and that whoever we are and whatever our circumstances, rich or poor, we are all entitled to walk the glittery pathway.
We are all created as equals. Sometimes it is easy to forget that. I certainly do. I think most of us at some time in our lives, have looked up to someone famous, mega wealthy or seemingly more accomplished than ourselves and felt overshadowed. It is a hard habit to shake off. But we all have our skills, our uniqueness that no one can take away! We can all have a chance to shine and take a walk in the sunshine. There are so many unsung heroes we may pass along the way; those who carry on in the direst circumstances and still raise a smile.
I walked with my soulmate in the bluebell wood today and we talked about life; how things sometimes surprise us and turn out differently than expected. We noted how sometimes it’s hard to take the rough with the smooth. How busy life can be at times, and how challenging. But would we really want to walk in anyone else’s shoes, however important they are?
I love this Malagasy proverb –
‘A canoe does not know who is King, when it turns over, everyone gets wet.’
I am certainly looking forward to watching the Coronation of King Charles 111; I will enjoy the pomp and circumstance, the making of history, and the feeling of times moving on, but I will remember the glittery path and all the unsung heroes that walk along it.
I hope you can walk the glittery path!
What did I do today?
Nothing I say,
Yet that can't be true
Because I sat here with you
And the sky was full
With soaring birds
With the sun on their wings.
Every ordinary day
Is full of perfect things.
Lmh
This winter seems to have been very long. Even now, the weather seems chilly and the north wind has been constant of late. However, the signs are now good – there has been sunshine here in Dove Lane today, and the birds are sounding glorious. With the first sighting of the delicate wild violets in the woods and the soft fragrance from the primroses that are lighting up like stars on the grassy banks, we are reminded that after every winter, spring does come eventually!
Life can be far from perfect, but a walk outside on a beautiful spring day can lift the heart and fill us with hope. We can engage with all the simple but important things in life. We can look to nature and realise that there is a force around us that carries on no matter what. We take it for granted that spring will appear and carry new life with it, but what a miracle it is.
With the sunshine on our shoulders we can view the world with an optimistic air. We can dream!
My dream might go something like this:
I am sitting in the sun alone, writing a poem that sums up everything I want to say,
I am in a beautiful cottage, full of books, with a view of the river. Here my husband has been fishing nearby and has just landed an enormous fish which he admires greatly then puts back into the water so it can swim off and be free…..
There are friends to laugh with just around the corner.
Family members have called to tell of happy days.
I have meditated without veering off track.
I am eating good chocolate.
I’m going off to watch a good play later
I’m wearing simple but stylish clothes and big jewellery.
The world around me feels safe.
There is no need for a food bank because there is enough money for everyone to buy what they need. (The government has stepped up.)
I can carry my dream with me and know that even in the hardest winter, underground the most beautiful flowers are only sleeping….
Enjoy the spring days and walk with peace in your heart.
Notes From Dove Lane 