A different kind of Sunday –

I don’t usually write a blog on a Sunday. Apparently, the best time to post a blog is about 7pm on a Tuesday. But now? Now is different. It doesn’t seem to matter what day it is when you are on lockdown! Maybe more people will spend time reading during the day now and if my words are interesting or thought provoking that is pleasing. However, the main reason I am writing now is that it really helps to get my thoughts down. It is not about finding clarity as that is quite hard at the moment, it is more about being creative and finding comfort. There is something very soothing about writing down whatever is in my head.

So what am I thinking today and what do I want to write about? Just some random thoughts I guess:

I was laying in bed this morning with no particular agenda mapped out. I thought about how the world has changed so quickly; in some ways it feels as though the rug has been pulled out from under my feet. From under all of our feet in fact, for we are all in this together, literally in all four corners of the world. The only thing is, we can’t be together physically. A lot of us can’t be with our families and loved ones. We can’t go out and hug someone who needs it, can’t do many of the everyday things we have always taken for granted. And that is hard, especially as there is no way of knowing yet when things will return to normal. And for some, it’s far, far worse.

I was thinking about the uncertainty. The lack of being able to plan. Yet there are rules we are being told we must adhere to. Most things are now out of our hands. Even shopping.

One thing I have always tried to remember in life is never to assume anything because life has a funny way of turning everything on its head.

History shows us that monumental and unfathomable changes happen, but we are never ready. Then again, perhaps we cannot ever be truly ready for unthinkable and unimaginable occurrences. For most of us, it is our natural way to strive and look forward and be ready for the next day, with all its plans and routines. We have an inbuilt optimism, together with expectation and a deep assurance that things are in place and will happen. We don’t often question if things will change.

But they do and they have.

Now we have had to listen to unwelcome and often sad news daily; it has taken a while for us to come to terms with the enormity of what is going on, but now we are beginning to realise we have to look to ourselves; to find resilience and new ways of adapting, like our long gone ancestors did in times of greats disturbances. We can, and have to set new and important tasks, and reset our compasses, so that we can navigate our ways through unchartered territory.

We can create new routines, new working spaces, let go of expectations and bake. We can walk in quiet, empty spaces. We can really enjoy our homes. Enjoy silence.

We can use some of our spare time doing a little reminiscing. Sift through some of our keepsakes. Remind ourselves of good times spent and good times still to come.

Nothing good is ever lost.

I remember my little grandson putting his hand on the window of the car a few weeks ago when he was leaving to go home. I put my hand on the other side. We were reaching out to each other in a loving way even though we weren’t physically touching.

We are all linked together, even when we are apart.

Be safe and love each other.

 

 

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The Angel’s Wings …

Some words of comfort for today…

 

 

The angel sat among the clouds

Amidst the darkening skies,

Her golden curls were tangled

And she looked through tired eyes.

 

The sun was dipping in the west

On earth, she saw them weep.

The angel knew that it was best

To be helping those beneath.

 

She softly flapped her gentle wings

And flew down from above

To silently be there for those in need

And surround them with her love.

 

For a long time her work was hard;

She saw the tears and sorrow,

The challenge of the changing world –

Would it be the same tomorrow?

 

No one saw her standing there

As they sought to find some peace,

But they felt a lessening of fear

And the grip of worry cease.

 

‘Dear Lord’ she prayed as she reached home,

‘I just don’t look my best,

My wings are shabby, my dress is torn,

But there was much unrest.’

 

‘Oh precious child,’ the Lord replied,

‘There is kindness in your heart,

You are my messenger, my trusted guide,

With the love that you impart.

 

Look not upon your ragged wings

For they will soon repair.

Just know the hope your presence brings

To those who feel despair.’

 

And those upon the earth were blessed

As they face a brand-new day,

Embraced by a silent angel

Who had helped them along the way.

 

© Lyn Halvorsen

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Encouragement for Today…

Maintaining normality….

Some encouragement and suggestions for today…

You may have already read this piece but I felt I wanted to add it here:

     ‘And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently. And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal. And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.’

                                                                    Attributed to Kitty O’Meara

 The above words are wise, thought provoking and beautiful.

But how do we steady ourselves today? The news is factual but dramatic. Of course we need to be informed but it is hard not to feel unsettled and anxious, even frightened.

At the moment we have to listen to the advice we are given and try and keep calm.

Here are a few things helping me feel calmer:

I have been watching the rooks building their nest for a while now. High in the trees and way above the rooftops, they are going about their business. Whatever the weather they come and go on a regular basis – dipping into our garden to help themselves to the bread on our lawn and flying backwards and forwards with twigs in their beaks to bolster up the nest. No matter what is happening on the ground onwards they go…

A selection of houseplants are arranged on my kitchen windowsill and whenever I look at the perky green leaves and tendrils I feel better. There is a softness in the natural colour. Above hangs a crystal which catches the sun and throws a rainbow of colours round the room and spreads healing energy.

Photographs are arranged on the shelf and I look at pictures of my wonderful sons, their beautiful wives and all nine of our adored grandchildren. I can imagine my hands on theirs. My arms around their shoulders. I can send them love, and love knows no boundaries.

As I write this I am listening to some music recommended by my daughter-in-law in America. She plays this to our youngest granddaughter every night. The music is peaceful, spiritual, harmonious . It helps to think that even when we are all apart, we can still share beautiful things.*

My husband is in the garden. I can hear him turning the soil with the fork, preparing the garden for the next season. The smell of newly mown grass is drifting in through the door. Tending the land is good for the soul and connects us to the earth.

I have been cooking. Chopping, blending, seasoning and then filling and shaping Cornish pasties just like my mother and grandmother before me. Home cooked food nourishes the soul as well as the body.

I have cleaned and tidied the house. There is something comforting in making our surroundings as pleasant as possible, especially if we have to stay in for while!

Looking for the silver lining helps – we may be frustrated because we cannot do a lot of the things we normally do without a second thought, but we are being given the gift of time. Time to have conversations with loved ones, time to reach out to neighbours who are grateful for our help, time to catch up on chores we have been putting off. Time to remember who and what is really dear to us. Time to put trivia aside and concentrate on what really matters. This is the time we wouldn’t have had if we were rushing around meeting deadlines.

I end by saying let’s encourage each other. Let us not isolate ourselves emotionally even if we have to physically. Find ways to relax. Stress does more damage than anything. Love and kindness matters. Let’s get through this scary time together.

 

*Hidden in My heart (A Lullaby Journey Through Scripture)

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How Do We Stay Calm During a Crisis?

What do we think about when fears are heightened ? ….

 

Up in our attic room with the wind howling, seemingly day after day, and the rain beating against the window, it is easy to question things and wonder if there is something out there conspiring to shake our stability.

The outbreak of the Coronavirus has taken us into uncharted waters and for many it feels unsettling to say the least.

During scary times what do we do? We all have our own ways of coping with worrying times, but when we are bombarded with unsettling news it can be easy to lose focus and panic.

Many of us have to accept that situations we had planned so perfectly go left instead of right when the universe has other plans!

Here are just a few of my thoughts on coping during times when normal living may be temporarily (hopefully!) restricted.

Aiming to disconnect from our concerns – if only for a while, gives us time to process a dilemma and the surrounding emotions, and then we are able to approach a situation with fresh perspective.

It makes sense to eat a healthy, balanced diet and get plenty of sleep – well rested people are better at fighting off viruses.

It’s good to take a walk in the fresh air and look at the spring flowers – the banks are starry with beautiful yellow primroses and the blue crocuses are peaking out in clumps in gardens everywhere. That must make us feel hopeful. Nature always finds a way and Mother Nature is on our side.

If we can develop a ritual we enjoy – perhaps some meditation or some exercises we enjoy, we can increase our stamina. These simple routines can help us feel more empowered to handle trying situations.

It’s good to talk! When we call our friends and have a chat, we can tell each other how we feel. This helps us avoid feeling too isolated. Personal relationships are crucial in maintaining perspective, elevating mood and allowing distraction, taking us away from concerns that trouble us. Even in imposed isolation, it is important to combat loneliness and keep talking – for example, via video chats.

Continuing normal activities where possible and maintaining perspective will help us reduce unnecessary stress and is the key to psychological survival.

Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset’.   Saint Francis de Sales

I am going to try and make the most of it if I have unexpected time on my hands. I might get out my favourite books and re-read them. Perhaps I will start a journal and write down my daily thoughts – this is something I have been meaning to do for ages. I have a simple hardback book with unlined pages ready for me to decorate, write and doodle in! I also have a glue stick so I can paste in things of interest I have found.  Writing and being creative is marvellous for channeling our concentration. In fact, I think creativity is medicine. Since way back in time, humans have been soothed by making things with their hands.

Something I love doing when I write is to play some well-loved music in the background – I browse Spotify and listen to stuff I haven’t heard in a while. It’s good to go back in time a bit and reminisce!

Beautiful music is the art of the prophets that can calm the agitations of the soul; it is one of the most magnificent and delightful presents God has given us’.  Martin Luther

I am regularly going to remind myself that things are happening that we couldn’t have imagined but that we are all in it together.

Man is Not Free From Conditions’ – Victor Frankl.

We are dealing with this virus as one world. Draw strength from loved ones, and in turn, stay positive and support your family and others around you. There will certainly be light at the end of the tunnel. And maybe, allow yourself to listen to the news, once, or twice a day at the most. It is good to give our brains time to rest and avoid overthinking what we have watched or read. Watch other shows apart from news, and talk to people about other topics.

If you don’t know the guy on the other side of the world, love him anyway because he’s just like you. He has the same dreams, the same hopes and fears. It’s one world, pal. We’re all neighbours.

                                                                                            Frank Sinatra.

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Being Realistic With Self-Help

Do you feel bombarded with good and well intentioned advice?

Are you like me and have a veritable library of self-help books? Do you listen to speakers on podcasts and hope they will say something that will help change your life and your view of it? If you are anything like me you will always be open to the next bit of illuminating advice. There are many wonderful people out there who lead by example; perhaps they have turned their lives around after adversity, or perhaps they have found a way of ‘ordering’ what they desire from the universe, and that is truly amazing. However, sometimes we feel we must constantly think positive thoughts – any negative thoughts that creep in means things will take a down turn. Oh dear.

But what if we need the odd negative thought now and again? There are times when we have to face the fact that there are still surprises in our lives, even after extensive visualisation and the use of our minds to focus on what we want to appear. Sometimes a negative thought gives us valuable information about what is going on with us. We cannot always run from negative thoughts. We can work with them though; be brave and acknowledge negative thoughts. If you keep ignoring them they can build until you reach a crisis and hit a bump in the road. It is important to acknowledge that sometimes bad things happen. And it is important not to blame yourself when they do. By having negative thoughts you haven’t racked up a sort of self bad karma. At the same time – there is a positive side to just about everything, it’s just harder to see sometimes. Don’t be afraid to say ‘This is grim’. Say it loudly. But then force yourself to look for the good.

To reassess during doubtful moments, try this:

Sit down in a quiet space and list your goals. After each goal, ask yourself why you want what you have written. Is it going to make you happy and more fulfilled? Are you likely to progress towards it?

List all things you think you should* be. Happier? More fit? Successful or wealthier ?

*Where did the ‘should’s’ come from? Why are they even there?  (I try to eliminate the word should from my thinking and my vocabulary). However, look at what you have written. It becomes real when you see it in black and white. If anything doesn’t sit comfortably, get rid of it. If there is something you know in your heart would work for you, then act upon it.

We are all different. What suits me may not suit you. My idea of talking to the trees may seem loony. But I like it. I may not see the point of meditating every morning but you might, and that’s good.  What helps I think, is to create our own ideals rather than take on someone else’s. You can only ‘do’ yourself perfectly, you can’t ‘do’ anyone else, and they can’t change you – in fact you are already complete just as you are. You may want to tweak things occasionally but you always were and always will be whole and complete.

Whole is an interesting thought. Whereas complete feels like finding a missing piece and becoming something, wholeness is being what you already are. Look at yourself as a whole, not just the shiny, glossy parts, which isn’t always easy – sometimes we see bits of ourselves we would rather not see.  But when we see perfection and imperfection, hurting and healing, fear and courage as one and the same we can make a shift towards new understanding. It’s like letting the light in. It means you accept yourself, not in spite of your flaws, but including your flaws. There is nothing to hide or change when you are focused on wholeness. It is simply a matter of being.

You can learn to look at yourself from the most loving perspective and to look inside yourself for your answers.

To look at things without attaching labels and stories to them and feel we have acquired a state of being that offers internal peace, happiness and joy and the satisfaction of all needs and wants is sometime most of us yearn for. Enlightenment as a word can be misleading, because it is sometimes perceived and communicated as a ‘higher’ state of being that feels like it is out of reach for the ‘normal’ person. However, the reality is, enlightenment is a natural state. It is inside of every one of us, and we can all get there, even if we stumble along the way. We just really need to be ourselves and not try to act as someone we are not.

Even if you sometimes doubt it, you are the exact and perfect combination of experiences, insights, strengths and imperfections that make a person whole – show yourself to the world just as you are –  after all, isn’t going out and living your best life the most important thing?

Always engage in the quest for life’s meaning, which is inner peace.’ – Longchenpa 

 

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Looking For the Golden Thread..

You are made up of miraculous things…

 

I was thinking of my beloved dad today especially in the wake of storm Dennis – he was a Dennis too but a much gentler version! He passed away two years ago this week and I miss him and think of him every day. A lot of things comfort me though; the fact I can hear his voice when I am doing something that would worry him, or when I myself am bowed with worry. I hear his laughter when I watch a programme on television that I know he would have found funny, and then I have his amazing collection of books which I have been looking through and which have taught me much about his character. Of course I knew him well; we spent so much time together and talked of many things, and yet I have found a new side of his character, or maybe a new way of understanding what contributed to his loving and interesting character. One book I have been reading is entitled ‘In Tune with The Infinite’ by Ralph Waldo Trine, which was first published in 1897 and which I have found to be full of profound and valuable teachings. It was enlightening, not least because it led me to realise that there are no new observations or astounding revelations ready to be unveiled in this life – they have always been there and are part of our being. So why do we forget this?

In life, if we are not careful we can be led by old negative thoughts and ideas about ageing, and cling on to old perceptions laid down over the years; perhaps we find it easier to accept a doctors pessimistic diagnosis than to fight to change it, or work at changing our body’s chemistry so that we can renew ourselves. But the moment we come into a realisation of our true selves, and so of the tremendous powers and forces within – the powers and forces of the mind and spirit, hereditary traits and influences that are harmful in nature will begin to lessen.

When we are re-introduced to the wisdom that has been in our soul since time began and runs through our DNA we can draw from the intrinsic and deep-rooted strength that is at our core.

There is a golden thread,’ writes Trine, ‘that runs through every religion in the world. There is a golden thread that runs through the lives and the teachings of the prophets, seers, sages, and saviours in the world’s history, through the lives of all men and women of truly great and lasting power.’

It is interesting that Trine opens the book with a message for us – one that would be every bit as fitting today as it was in 1897. He notes that (then) we were born into a strange time – a time that tries men’s souls. Also, he states that bewilderment and fear hold many and that change and uncertainty stalk through the land – all lands. Sounds familiar doesn’t it?

So many times we are bombarded with disturbing news from the media. We are staggered by the dreadful events that unfold in front of our eyes on our television screens. We wonder if these things can really be happening. Perhaps in our darkest moments we try to apportion blame, or divert our attention elsewhere. But deep down we know there must be a better way. And we are not alone. Between us, we have the enormous potential to bring about change, both in businesses, our own lives, and all around the world. We may think we cannot make a difference – but we can. When you throw a small pebble into a lake, the ripples spread out and reach further than you could imagine, and so acts of positivity, however small in your eyes, will make a difference.

Stephen Hawking who also died two years ago, was one of the greatest scientists of modern times; at the age of 21 when he was diagnosed with motor neurone disease he is quoted as saying:

My expectations were reduced to zero when I was 21. Everything since then has been a bonus.’ Just think of what he achieved is his lifetime and the amazing legacy he left behind.

We all cope with life’s trials and tribulations in different ways. Some of us take smaller steps than others but it doesn’t mean we can’t get there in the end – we may just take a little longer, and that is not a problem – we may meet others along the way who help us find our feet! We don’t need to be perfect either – to quote Stephen Hawking again: ‘Without imperfection, you or I would not exist.’

I am still going through my dad’s book collection. It may take some time, but I feel all these books and words have been left to show me the way forward; perhaps my dad is finding a new way to help me now that he is not here in person. I have always loved books, and these books tell more than just one story. I have been amused and touched by the amount of self-help books I have found and I realise now where my own interest in self-development has come from.

We are all a mix of so many things – much more than we could ever possibly know. Take heart when you feel low or anxious – you are made up of miraculous things and you will find them reflected in unexpected places.

Oh and I especially like ‘Mr. Thrifty’s How to Save Money On Absolutely Everything, but that’s probably another side to my dad’s character, as is ‘The Pocket Pal of Magic Tricks, which I will take time to study one day! Who knows, maybe I could be an undiscovered magician! Then again, I have always believed in magic.

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