I should know by now how to deal with the days the ‘misery monster’ pays a visit…
‘Come on girl, there is much to be happy about’! This I tell myself so often, as do my trusted gurus, my loved ones, my friends. BUT, there are those blue days that creep up on me; the times when the lurking ‘misery’ monster creeps out from the shadows and wraps its shapeless form around me until it turns into a cloak I can’t shake off.
‘When the monster crept in from the shadows, I just couldn’t push it away, Filling my head with its chatter, It stayed until night turned to day. I felt I should dismiss it, with one impatient stroke, But its presence lingered with me, Like a dark and heavy cloak.’
I write often about how to deal with anxiety and indeed, I have written a handbook about anxiety and how to move forward from it.* I should know by now how to deal with the days when the ‘misery monster’ pays a visit, and yes there are coping mechanisms that work very well. In these times of what can only be described as ‘technology and information overload’ though, I think many of us have days when we feel bombarded with too much of everything, both good and bad, and those are the days when things can get out of perspective.
‘ Through weary eyes I viewed the clouds – As they shed their watery tears, Blotting out the cheerful sun, As it dimmed then disappeared .’
My Facebook feed gives me a constant stream of inspiring and uplifting quotes and feel-good stories. Most of them I like or even love, and occasionally I will read something heart-stoppingly good. I wouldn’t change much of it, and most of the feeds I have chosen to follow, but sometimes I wonder if, certainly I, take them a bit for granted and have forgotten how to read with fresh eyes. And maybe it’s the same with other things we know are good for us but we don’t give our attention to as much as we could. I’m always talking about the positive effects of being outdoors and enjoying the world around us, and yet yesterday I took a long walk in my favourite woods and realised when I got home that I hadn’t taken in my beautiful surroundings at all. I hadn’t admired the early blossom on the cherry tree on the corner or the emerging primrose peeking out from the grassy winter pathway like an early evening star.
I know too, that I should eat well. I know the importance of a healthy and well-balanced diet, and getting the right amount of sleep and excercise. I take my vitamins and drink the water. But it’s easier to give in to the chocolate bar calling to me from the cupboard on ‘sad’ days. Hmm….I must switch on my Hymalayan Salt lamp. The warm glow really is uplifting.
So what DO we do on sad days? Do we stay in our pyjamas and spend a day on the sofa covered in a soft, warm duvet with a good book or some box sets, or do we try and get on with things? A day on the sofa may be welcome occasionally and there’s nothing wrong with it, ( in fact I like the sound of it actually!) but I guess it’s about waking up to what is around us and really seeing what is there. We can develop the philosopher in us by reading, learning, reflecting and analysing but that’s not the whole picture. I thought yesterday about the term ‘warrior’ which seems to be used a lot at the moment. To be a warrior one needs to be brave, fearless, and be tuned in to surviving at all costs. A warrior bends in the wind but doesn’t break and a warrior doesn’t go against his better judgement. A warrior looks after his tribe; something important to most of us. If we don’t try to embrace our inner warrior we can become victims, blaming our past or our upbringing for what is making us unhappy or restless, instead of facing the world and taking responsibility for ourselves and our past. Don’t get me wrong. It is not always easy to be a warrior. It certainly doesn’t come easily to me. But on sad days especially, I am going to remember I have a warrior in me who can throw off that ‘misery monster’s cloak’. That warrior is going to stand up and be counted and see obstacles as opportunities.
‘Imagine a month of Sundays, Each one dull and grey, Suddenly brightened by sunlight, That illuminated the day. And the sound of children’s laughter, That arrived like a gift, That caused my heavy heart to stir, And make my spirits lift.’
I am a cheerful person really. Actually quite humorous. I like doing fun things, I can tell jokes and I can double up with laughter at times. I am a deep thinking person but humour is important to me and I don’t like to think I take myself too seriously 😑 So, dear reader, I apologise for any gloominess, but at the same time, if you are gloomy too, don’t forget to go out and look for the early signs of spring, which is just around the corner. And hang in there, especially if times are tough.
‘And imagine the sight of a rainbow, Shimmering after the rain, Like a painting stretched across the sky, Bringing colour to the world again.
The most stunning rainbow I have seen recently – a little blurry, but still…..
What do you do on ‘sad days’? I would love to hear from you and your ways of coping with the ‘misery monster’ days.
Blessings to you.
* My book ‘Best Foot Forward – Moving on From Anxiety’ will be available soon on Amazon or email me at – firstname.lastname@example.org
‘The Monster in the Shadows’ poem (C) Lyn Halvorsen